It's All An Illusion
by Nancy H.B
Summary: SLASH Harry & Draco... Falling in love with an illusion... Harry's POV
1. A plea for Help

**It's All An Illusion Part 1**   
By: Nancy H.B. (charismamidday@yahoo.com)   
Rating: PG-13   
Pairing: SLASH Draco & Harry   
Summary: Falling in love with an illusion. Harry's POV   
Author's Note: This is not a happy fic, I was in a weird mood and this is what came out... It is SLASH.. You have been warned. If this isn't your thing, don't read.   
Disclamer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. J.K Rowling has that priviledge. 

************** 

Do you know what is the worst thing about love? It's not as some might think loving someone who doesn't love you back. It's not even a love that has died. No. The worst thing about love is being in love with an illusion. 

As I stare in the face of my illusion, I see death. I am beyond thinking there's some kind of mistake. I simply accept. It was an illusion. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

In these moments I can't help but remember how all of this started, when reality left. 

***** 

It was the beginning of my 6th year at Hogwarts. We had been back for a few weeks already and I was glad to be back home, for this school really is my home. Not that place where I grew up and I spend my summer at. No, I'd never call that little house on Privet drive my home. 

I was on my way to the Gryffindor common room when it all started. I had just finish eating and was going to join my friends when reality decided to pack up and leave. 

"Harry, can I speak to you?" someone asks behind me. I turned around to face the body the voice belongs to. I groan when I realize that it belongs to none other than my nemesis, Draco Malfoy. 

"What do you want now, Malfoy? Came to have another cracked at me?" I asked the other boy giving him the coldest look I could muster. It wasn't as easy as it sounds. No matter how horrible Draco has been to me and my friends in the past years, I still want to believe that there is good in everyone. That they simply need the chance to show it. I don't know what it is about Draco but I want him to give me the chance to see the good in him. Not that this means I trust him. No I trust him about as far as I can throw him. But I am curious as to what he wants with me. Especially since he hasn't said anything wrong to me yet and usually the first thing to come out of his mouth is an insult in some way. 

"No, I'm not here to insult you," he says softly, surprising me, causing me to gawk at him. He looked uncomfortable under my stare, like he half wanted to run away but hasn't the strength to. If I looked closely into his eyes, I could almost swear Draco was afraid. _*Afraid? Malfoy? What could he possibly be afraid of? _ I thought. _Draco never shows fear. I must be imagining things. *_

"What is it then? I ask." 

"Um..." Draco looks around the hallway we're standing in, as if to see if anyone if listening in on our conversation. If you can call it a conversation. *snort* He seems a bit edgy. "Could we go talk somewhere a bit more private?" He asks. 

"Why would I go anywhere with you, Malfoy?! This is probably another one of your tricks to get me into trouble" I tell him. 

"No! He quickly answers. I swear this isn't a trick. I really need to talk to you. It's important... **please**, Harry, you have to listen to me... I don't know what..." He leaves off still looking around as if someone will jump out of the shadows and attack him. 

I look at him, he almost as a pleading look in his eyes. _*He looks desperate. * _I realized. He even said please. I never heard that word come out of Draco's lips. Never. _*He also called me Harry. He never calls me Harry. It's always Potter. Never Harry. *_ But that's what he's been calling me since this conversation started I realize. I guess that and the look in his eyes is what made me want to hear him out, at the very least. I gave him a nod. 

I turned around and started walking toward an empty classroom where we could talk. I didn't turn back to see if he was following me. If he wanted to talk, he would. 

I walked into the classroom and turned around as Draco entered, closing the door behind him. _*He looks nervous, and is he fidgeting? * _I thought. He looked like he was trying to figure out how to form what he wanted to say. So I gave him a moment to compose himself as I took a moment to study him closer. 

_*He looks thinner. Thinner than before summer started anyway. His hair is also different. It looks more limp. Lifeless on his head. * _His eyes thought are what strikes me the most. _*They look... empty. * _ Gone is the cold sparkle that is usually always present in them. Now his eyes looked dull._ * Gosh, I wonder what happened to him this summer to make such a drastic change in him* _

He looks ready to speak so I turned my attention to him. "Harry, I...." It looks like he has something hard to say. "Yes?" I ask, urging him on. 

"I... I need your help, Harry." He says desperately. 

************** 

To Be Continued 


	2. I am not my father...

**It's All An Illusion Part 2**   
By: Nancy H.B. (charismamidday@yahoo.com)   
Rating: PG-13   
Pairing: SLASH Draco & Harry   
Summary: Falling in love with an illusion. Harry's POV   
Author's Note: This is not a happy fic, I was in a weird mood and this is what came out... It is SLASH.. You have been warned. If this isn't your thing, don't read. This part kinda came out weird... Not sure I like it...   
Disclamer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. J.K Rowling has that priviledge. 

************** 

I stared at Draco incredulously. Had Draco just asked me for help? What could I possibly help him with? And why would Draco be asking him help in the first place. What made him think I would help him with anything after all he's done. And I said so to him. 

"Because you are the only one I can ask for help with this. And, Harry, you are the nice one here. You know the one always ready to help others in trouble?" Well that's true. I'm always willing to help others. But what could I possibly help him with? "Why don't you tell me what the problem is and then I'll see if I'll help? I still don't trust you Malfoy." I told him. 

" I don't blame you, he says. I've been horrible to you and your friend for the past years. I understand that it would take a lot of time for me to make that up to you. But at least you are willing to listen to me. That's good. I really need help. And I know you could help me if I could only convince you that I'm being truthful here and ..." 

"Draco, stop babbling and get on with it." I tell him cutting him off. 

"Oh! Yes, sorry... This isn't easy for me." I just look at him with my attentive face on and wait for him to tell me what's bothering him. " I guess I have to start with what happened this summer. He started. My father, as you know, isn't really one of the good guys." I snort out-loud at this. Draco gives me a look saying that it hard enough for him saying this that I'm not helping. I give him a small apologetic smile. And he continues. 

"Well, like I was saying my father isn't one of the nice guys and he always brought me up to follow in his footsteps. This summer since I turned 16, he thought it would be a good time for me to come with him and his friends on one of their little outings. I... Oh god... I went with them.. And the things I saw... The things they did... It was horrible Harry. And at that moment I realized I don't want to follow in my father's footsteps. I don't want to be like him and do all those horrible things." He was getting a little agitated & desperate, like he wanted to be sure that I believed him. His face showed the horrors that he had seen, and that he didn't like it. " You've got to help me Harry. I **DON'T** want to be like my father." He practically yelled that last part. 

Ok. Sure. He wants me to help him. How? I get that he doesn't want to become a bad guy. Yes, that coming in loud and clear. But does he wanna be one of the good guys? Can I trust him? Yes, his eyes are way too scared for this to be a trick. Ok, so back to my original question, how does he want me to help. 

"Ok, Draco, calm down. May I ask how you expect me to help?" I ask him. His face started to shine with hope. "You'll help me?" He asks. 

"Now I didn't say I would," his face crumpled down, "But I didn't say I wouldn't either. I simply asked **how** I was supposed to help." 

"I... I'm not sure." He says. "I just know that I do need help and that you were the best person to ask" 

"I am? Why?" I asked him incredulously. " There are a lot of other people you could've asked help with, no? What about Crabbe & Goyle?" _ How in the world could I be the best person to ask help from? He didn't even like me. He's made my life a living hell ever since I met him. Why me?_

"But Harry, you are the only one I could ask help from." He replies. " You are a nice guy and you help others, no? You're the boy who lived! I couldn't have gone to Crabbe & Goyle, even if I had wanted too, they're in league with them! I want to get away from you-know-who. You're his worst enemy, of course I could only go to you" He says passionately. 

I stared skeptically at him. _Ok, sure, I guess that makes sense. He couldn't go to his goons, cause they'd betray him to Voldemort. I'm on the side against him, so I can see his logic. Kinda. _ But why not go to the headmaster though? _Guess he felt more comfortable with me, he never really hid the fact that he didn't really like Dumbledore. _ I sigh. 

"Draco, I'm not sure," I say. 

"Why? Don't you believe me?" He says pleadingly. 

"It's not that I don't believe you Draco. But you have been horrible to my friends & I for the past six years. I can't just overlook that just like nothing." I say to him. 

"I'll make it up to you & your friends, Harry. I swear, please! I don't know what to do. I... I need you Harry!" He says. _He needs me?! Never thought I would ever hear those words come out of Draco Malfoy's mouth. **EVER**. He's really serious. But... I'm still not sure. How would the others take it? God I can just imagine the fit Ron would have. Should I? _

"Look Draco, this is a lot to take in. I'm not saying I won't help you, but I need to think this through first, ok?" 

Draco looks sad that I didn't agree to help him right away but also relieved that I didn't just say no. "Ok Harry, I understand. You need time. I'll give it to you" He says. 

"Ok, Draco. I guess I'll be seeing ya." I say as I start to leave the classroom. As I was opening the door, draco says, "No matter what you decide Harry, I just want to thank you for listening to me. For not just ignoring me even after all I did, and.... Thank you for believing me." 

I turned to him & nodded. With a last small smile to him, I left, closing the door behind me. 

End Of Chapter 2 

To Be Continued 


End file.
